somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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