you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Liz is crying about burritos again.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
