I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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