You're completely useless in the revolution.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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