I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize