since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
