I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
