it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
