Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Randomize