He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
How naked do you want me to be?
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