The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Bring me that man meat
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
