Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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