You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
