if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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