so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
