Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
