He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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