I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
