I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
