Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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