i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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