If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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