Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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