don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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