I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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