I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
