no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You were trust falling into bushes
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
