Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
