My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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