whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
