he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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