She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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