He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
