i think my tv is drunk
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
