I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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