It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
