while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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