Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
