Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
