do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
only you would photoshop your dick
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
