He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
