It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize