Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
