Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
