i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
