I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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