He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
