hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
3 2 1 whiskey
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
