I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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