If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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