So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
