Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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