How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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