This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
