I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
