Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
