some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
