I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize