you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
