What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
