ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize