Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm bleeding and have questions
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
