woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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