That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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