Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
