Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
