I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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