end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i came on her dog
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
