I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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