Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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