Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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