i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
