He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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