Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
