A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
