At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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