Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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