My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
