I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
