Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
